Tok whole classfeedback copy

Task: Essay – All Knowledge is political. Choose a political issue and discuss

Some good examples were chosen as evidence
Some evidence about thinking in a TOK manner
Some students are constructing their essay well
according to the template ie Intro, AOK 1 claim,
AOK 1 counter claim, AOK 2 claim, AOK 2 counter
claim, conclusion.
There is some evidence of thinking about the
heart/ the nature of AOK’s

Polaroid Moments:

Dheemahi: a nicely written piece with
good examples and a clear argument.
Tanish: discussion on citizenship
Soumil: recognizing different perspectives
for the same issue
Aanya: range of research and tracing
origins of Racism in society
Aarya: related to current political issues
Arunima: accuracy referencing
Dia: attempt to evaluate different political
perspectives and linking poverty to
religious beliefs
Preparation was improved through wider reading
to have a proper understanding about the nature
of political issues and their basis of understanding
KQ’s were identified and included in the
The Introduction really tackled the Q and
analysed it. Write your conclusion.
Examples used were shortened to no more than
2/3 sentences.
Counterclaims within each AOK were actually
thought about and followed through.
The Q had been fully read and answered: ie how

How to reference accurately, properly and write a
Writing about politics requires an academic
understanding of what politics is and the different
TOK is an academic subject where arguments
need to be carefully constructed.
Examples are exactly that: examples. They are
NOT the argument itself but the evidence for
your points. No more than 2/3 sentence long to
SUPPORT your argument.
IT IS ESSENTIAL to write about the nature of each
AOK in relation to the Q before going into
NEXT STEPS: Targets/ strategies for success

Accurate, but simple, essay presentation: double
spacing, word count, title, student name included.
12 font size, page numbers,
READ actual articles/ textbook. Do not rely just on
vague internet sites.
Write better focused introductions
Avoid writing in a personal style
Avoid writing a personal commentary describing
Avoid vague terms like ‘people said’, ‘real world’,
‘real truth’, ‘everyone believes’
There must be ACCURATE CITATIONS within
essays. This is a basic rule of writing.
Move from descriptive writing to analytical.
PEEL. Please use this basic way of writing each
paragraph so all content is focused to the Q.

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